By Kishna,
The Beat Within/NAM

How I hurt her when she gave birth to me.
How I hurt her when I stayed with my auntie.

How I hurt her when I failed first grade.
How I hurt her when I told her I lost my virginity.
How I hurt her when I yelled back at her when it was my daddy’s fault.
How I hurt her when I fought her and she wouldn’t fight back.
How I hurt her by talking to boys or grown men years older than me.
How I hurt her by living with other people.

How I hurt her by being away.
How I hurt her when I took everything she did for me for granted.
How I hurt her by dropping out of school.
How I hurt her by blaming everything on her.
How I hurt her when I mistreated my older brother and sister.

How I hurt her by having boys spend the night at the house after she said “No.”
How I hurt her by sneaking out at night and not coming back.
How I hurt her even worse by calling: “Momma, I’m locked up for prostitution.”
There are many ways I hurt my mom after she struggled with four kids, her not being raised by her own parents, losing the parents she did have, losing the house and money that we had. And all the time I was bad, spoiled and failed to recognize what she did for me.
I’m sorry mom. I see now. I will try to stop hurting you. I love you.